but why would you even give him the waterbed
he had scissors
I LOVE HOW THIS DOESN’T EVEN MENTION WHAT IT’S ABOUT BUT EVERYONE KNOWS.
who else has fucking scissors for hands
My history professor asked who we wanted to have as the next pope and I chimed in Oprah and my prof just stands there laughing for a solid minute before he whispers
IT GOT BETTER
wow it got better
One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.